All right, Dads. It’s this weekend, Sunday, May 12th. No more procrastinating! The mother of your children is expecting you to do something for Mother’s Day. Don’t be like my cousin who says, “She’s not my mother!” We all hope she’s not, but she mothered your children, so you’re still expected to do something on their behalf, even if they’re old enough to do something on their own. Capiche?
Below are a few ideas from various Mommy Mentors – most free, some inexpensive, and a few for those with deeper pockets. If you don’t know which of these would make her happiest, email this article to her and simply ask which 2 are her faves. That way, she’ll still be surprised and you’ll get major brownie points for asking her what she really wants! (Hint: it’s not sex.)
1. Time off from being a Mom, alone. Motherhood, just like fatherhood, is a full-time job. On Mother’s Day, some Moms want our little ones to make cards and such, but then we want time alone. Completely. alone. Maybe some time with a favorite sister or friend if we’re feeling social, but no kids, no husbands. And this doesn’t mean she necessarily wants to go out shopping or to lunch. She may just want to be alone in her own home in her bed reading the dusty book from her bedside table. If that’s the case, take the kids to the park and to lunch.
2. Time off from being a Mom, with her family. Other Moms may want to be with their families but put all responsibilities on hold. They don’t want to be in charge of meals or running to the bank or dry cleaners. They may just want a day home with you and the kids, enjoying being a family. If this is what she wants, this is a good, good woman.
3. Get her something from her Amazon Wishlist. But make sure it’s her wishlist. A Mommy Mentor writes, “My poor husband came home one day white-faced and said we needed to talk. I was worried someone in the family had died he was so pale. He quietly said he had found my Amazon list and that he was willing to do whatever he needed to do in order to save our marriage. Apparently, another woman with my same first and last name had a wishlist that was full of titles like, How to Divorce on a Budget and How to Get Out of a Miserable Marriage, the Cheap Way!”
4. Send her out of the house alone. Some Moms spend so much time at home that they’re dying to get out of the house. If this is the case, send her out. Don’t ask any questions, just give her a kiss and tell her to not come home before dark. Now this part is important: while she’s gone, clean the house. Put the kids to work, too. They’re motivated on Mother’s Day – so harness that energy! Have them clean the windows and dust while you vacuum, clean the fan blades, and scrub the toilets. This is a major labor of love that she’ll likely swoon over.
5. Clean her car. Many Moms, especially full-time Moms, spend an inordinate amount of time in their cars. Carpool, errands, practices – it can add up to hours in the car each day. Have her car professionally detailed. Or, if you need it to be free, do it yourself. But you need to get every last french fry out of the cracks of the seats, get the dried milk out of the cup holders, and take the car seats out to see what filth is growing underneath them. While you’re at it, wash the car seat covers. When you’re done, go to the gas station to make sure she has a full tank for the upcoming week.
6. Family Night In. After a day to herself, some Moms like to reconnect in a comfy, Rockwellian way. How’s a movie night sound? Get out the comforters and sleeping bags, pop some popcorn, and watch a kid-friendly movie as a family. Let Mom snuggle with whoever she chooses.
7. Fix her up! No, not with another man. Fix her body! Women sacrifice their bodies in some way when they become mothers. It may be invisible (like not being able to “hold it” like they used to) or visible (saggy boobs, stretch marks). If your pockets are deep and you know this is something she wants, give her a lovely card with a print out of the best cosmetic surgeon’s website. But be sure to include something in the card like, “You’re more beautiful now than the day I married you,” to reassure her that you’re doing this only because you know she wants it, not because you want her to look better.
Warning: if she has never intimated that she wants plastic surgery, do not do this. Sirens are blaring! Be sure to read this carefully. If you don’t know what intimated means, look it up!
All right, Dad, now get going!